Cyclothymic Cister

Before the Internet, I used to lie in bed at night composing thoughts as if I were talking to a wise entity. (An actual face never came to mind). I would re-word and re-phrase the thoughts till they were crystal clear. Now I can blog. And hopefully, there are a lot of wise people with real faces out there who might just comment back.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Why Me?

The other day I was so exhausted that I came straight home from work, got a carton of Ben & Jerry’s out of the freezer, lay down on the couch and watched TV. I hardly moved the rest of the night.

I was struck with the notion of how easy my life is.

I live 2.5 miles from work—no long commute in traffic.

I don’t have important meetings to attend, and hectic schedules to keep.

My children are grown—no juggling them off to daycare or having dinner and bath time at night.

Meals are not expected anymore, nor is a tidy house. My spouse is easygoing.

I have a comfortable house and a car that runs. I have a washer and dryer in my home.

I am healthy and my husband is healthy.

The only immediate stress we have is having too much.

So I say, “Why me?” Why am I so blessed? Why am I so fortunate to have been born in America and not some war-torn or impoverished country or a country who persecutes its citizens.? Why was I so fortunate to have loving parents who provided well for me? Why am I so fortunate to not suffer any health issues nor have to care for a loved one who does? The list is endless.

We usually hear the words “why me?” when a person has suffered a loss or experienced a tragedy. When we say “why me” in that context, are we not flying in the face of the other sufferers by insinuating that it is ok for THEM to suffer but we are too good for bad things to happen to us? People far more deserving of blessings than I have been suffering from the beginning of time!

So, I say with astonishment and humility, “WHY ME?” Why do I have life so easy? It is sobering thought because “To whom much is given, much is required.” (Luke 12:48)

Lord help me.

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