Cyclothymic Cister

Before the Internet, I used to lie in bed at night composing thoughts as if I were talking to a wise entity. (An actual face never came to mind). I would re-word and re-phrase the thoughts till they were crystal clear. Now I can blog. And hopefully, there are a lot of wise people with real faces out there who might just comment back.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

First Bank of Mom--Eternally Insured

Finally the sun is shining. For the past week and a half we have been under heavy grey skies and lots of rain. I felt like I was in the Artic Circle: it was never really daylight which meant I could never quite wake up. But the sluggishness is gone today.

My youngest daughter has been struggling with life's problems. I have been trying to help her get back on her feet, morally and financially, which has really put a strain on my bank account. To help pay off some of her debt my daughter agreed to give me her tax refund check.

Well, the check arrived in the mail yesterday. I casually put it in my purse, intending to deposit it. I let out a sigh of relief, knowing that I could recoup a little of the money I had so freely doled out.

This morning my daughter informed me of more issues for which she still needed money. (Now these are legitimate problems, albeit she got in this situation due to her own poor choices). I thought about the check in my purse. Without hesitation I took it out and handed it to her and then headed out the door to work.

On the way out the door, I got something in my contact lens and had to go back in. Once I cleared up the eye problem, I decided to do something that I hadn't done in awhile.

You see, I buy books. All genres and authors, old and new. Several months ago I acquired a book of prayers, copyright 1948. There is a prayer for each day of the month, morning and evening. Now, mind you, these are not prayers like you see today, asking for prosperity or the "what can God do for me" type prayers. These prayers are earnestly imploring God to help us align with the character of Christ.

I had not picked up that little book in quite some time, but I felt compelled to do so this morning. I turned to the prayer for the morning of the 18th day of the month. Tucked right in the middle of the prayer was this: Help me to: ". . . lend, hoping for nothing again; (Luk 6:35).

*edit: It sounds like my daughter asked for money or at least hinted for it. That is not the case. She did not even know I had the tax check. She was simple talking about what the next steps were in getting her place ready to move in: utility deposits, that sort of thing. I volunteered to give her the money. It must have taken her aback because my other daughter told me that her sister was really surprised that I gave her the check and that I must want her out of the house. No, I don't want her out, (necessarily). I just care about her emotional wellbeing. Period.


At 11:58 AM, Blogger hanmee said...

You're a great mom. I've been on that side of the fence (your daughter's).

As far as finances go, I think it's good to help out others as long as you're financially able to do so without going into debt AND the person has understood the choices that led them to their current position and intends to rectify them (assuming it was their fault). It sounds like you and your daughter are doing well. Glad that she is getting back on her feet.

At 1:47 PM, Blogger Cyclothymic Cister said...

Thanks, Chunky, for the encouragement. I agree that lending has to have boundaries. I probably cross those boundaries from time to time. I am trying to learn to say no.

At 11:53 AM, Blogger KC said...

Great post. Our relationships with our becoming-adult children, and our adult children become so complex as we try to find the balance between helping and letting them learn and struggle. Sigh.


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