Cyclothymic Cister

Before the Internet, I used to lie in bed at night composing thoughts as if I were talking to a wise entity. (An actual face never came to mind). I would re-word and re-phrase the thoughts till they were crystal clear. Now I can blog. And hopefully, there are a lot of wise people with real faces out there who might just comment back.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

What is cyclothymia?

First of all, I have not been clinically diagnosed with cyclotyhmia. I stumbled across this personality type when I was looking up my husband's personality traits (who has a different PType altogether). When I read about cyclothymia I recognized myself. I got excited to find out that there was actually a name for what I go through. Moods changing from hypomania to mild depression, each lasting only a few days with normal periods in between. I just thought I couldn't stay "up" for very long and I was always trying to analize why. Now I know that it is nothing external, really. It was also encouraging to find out that, since I never go to severe extremes, then it is not full blown bi-polar disease.

I must be in the hypomania phase right now, because I started this blog. I went from knowing nothing about blogging a couple of days ago, to wanting to learn HTML and create my own template. Words started flowing and I feel I must write.

I plan to provide links to sites that define hypomania, cyclothymia, depression, etc. One more encouraging discovery. The positive side of the Cylothymic personality is the Artistic Personality (according to one source). More on all this later.

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One thing about myself that I found troubling is that I crave praise. I thrive on praise. Today I was thinking about how disgusting it is to want my ego stroked. But then it hit me, "I don't want my ego stroked. I want to please you." When I am praised by someone, then I know that I have pleased them and that was my goal all along. Now I feel much better about myself.

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