Cyclothymic Cister

Before the Internet, I used to lie in bed at night composing thoughts as if I were talking to a wise entity. (An actual face never came to mind). I would re-word and re-phrase the thoughts till they were crystal clear. Now I can blog. And hopefully, there are a lot of wise people with real faces out there who might just comment back.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Little Gesture--Huge Impact

Lately I haven’t had anything to say. Even now I find it hard to write these words. Maybe I’m content, maybe I am tired, or maybe I’m just uninspired. I trust, however, that my need to express myself will return, sooner rather than later. But there is one thing that I feel the need to tell. It is about an act of kindness performed by my husband.

I go to bed early to read and watch TV, while my husband does his reading in another room. I always have a caffeine-free diet coke on my nightstand. And I usually fall asleep too early, only to wake up later wanting a drink of my diet coke.

Last night was no different except when I picked up the can of coke it was empty. So I sat it back down. When I did, it made that “empty soda can” sound. Well, don’t you know, that my husband heard that sound from the other room and brought me a fresh diet coke from the frige.

I’ll remember that the next time I’m inclined to get peeved at him.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Tiny and Tiny Too

We have had Varie (Short for Variegated) now for three months. You may remember my husband found the fire-singed kitten hiding in a clump Irises. (How she got burned in the fire is suspect, but we have a pretty good idea who threw her in).

The minute Varie came into our home she took up with Tiny, our rescued Chihuahua, staying by his side whether he was walking, eating, going outside, or sleeping. The two almost move in sync.

So when I talk to Tiny, Varie is always there, too. When I say, “Tiny, are you hungry?” Varie responds with a meow. When I say, “Tiny do you want to eat?” Varie runs to the cabinet where the food is kept. When I say, “Tiny do you want to ‘go outside’?” Varie runs to the door. When I come home from work and say, “Hi, Tiny!” Varie greets me.

Yes, you guessed it. Varie thinks her name is Tiny.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Why Me?

The other day I was so exhausted that I came straight home from work, got a carton of Ben & Jerry’s out of the freezer, lay down on the couch and watched TV. I hardly moved the rest of the night.

I was struck with the notion of how easy my life is.

I live 2.5 miles from work—no long commute in traffic.

I don’t have important meetings to attend, and hectic schedules to keep.

My children are grown—no juggling them off to daycare or having dinner and bath time at night.

Meals are not expected anymore, nor is a tidy house. My spouse is easygoing.

I have a comfortable house and a car that runs. I have a washer and dryer in my home.

I am healthy and my husband is healthy.

The only immediate stress we have is having too much.

So I say, “Why me?” Why am I so blessed? Why am I so fortunate to have been born in America and not some war-torn or impoverished country or a country who persecutes its citizens.? Why was I so fortunate to have loving parents who provided well for me? Why am I so fortunate to not suffer any health issues nor have to care for a loved one who does? The list is endless.

We usually hear the words “why me?” when a person has suffered a loss or experienced a tragedy. When we say “why me” in that context, are we not flying in the face of the other sufferers by insinuating that it is ok for THEM to suffer but we are too good for bad things to happen to us? People far more deserving of blessings than I have been suffering from the beginning of time!

So, I say with astonishment and humility, “WHY ME?” Why do I have life so easy? It is sobering thought because “To whom much is given, much is required.” (Luke 12:48)

Lord help me.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Me First

Should church congregations take advantage of our city police department to help them exit the church parking lot? A huge Baptist church was recently built in our neighborhood on the corner of two highways, with the parking lot exiting onto both highways. On Sundays when church service is dismissed, the police department stops traffic on both highways to let the church traffic out while the rest of us wait.

I don’t know if this is a proper or legal use of our city police force, but at the very least, it does not seem ethical. This sense of entitlement irks me. Aren’t Christians called to be servants? As an example of Christian charity should we not acquiesce to others’ needs first?

Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus
Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant . . . Philippians 2:6-8

What if the Church employed the city police department to direct traffic to let the hard-working factory workers out after a grueling 12-hour shift? These laborers just want to get home to their families; they are not trying to be first to get the best seats at the best restaurants.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Revved Up

My husband and I went to a car dealership to test drive a car of the type that I’m thinking about buying. The salesman said he had one on the lot, so we walked over to take a look. When the salesman saw that the sticker on the car window read “5 speed manual” he said (looking at me), “Oh, are you the one driving? I didn’t realize it was a 5 speed.”

I replied graciously saying, “Yes, I’m the one driving, but that’s ok. I’ve been driving a stick shift for many years.

What I WANTED to say is: Why do you assume that since I’m a woman that I can’t drive a stick shift. I have been driving one since I was 16 years old and I’m fifty now. And unless your name is Mario, I can probably drive one better than you!

Another Moon

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Harvest Moon

It has already been a month since I last posted. Seems like I'm intrigued by the moon lately. Last month I got up at 5:00 am to photograph the eclipse that took place on my 50th birthday. A couple of days ago, at around 7:30 pm I took this picture out my back door. Please click to enlarge to get the full effect.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Bumper Sticker Snobbery

I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said “My daughter saves lives. What does yours do?”

Does that sound kind of snobbish to anyone else? While I am glad for that mother that her daughter is successful, it seems catty to ask what my daughter does, as if it would not be nearly as important as her daughter.

What hurt me was that I had the same aspirations for my daughters as that mother probably had for hers. I taught my children the right things. They were brought up in a good home with proper values. I long to be proud of them. Maybe even brag a little. Yet both of my daughters have made poor choices and have not even come close to living up to their potential. In fact, they are probably the lives that HER daughter has to save.

So I am glad there are life savers in this world. But I love my daughters just the same. They are precious to me even if they never hold prestigious positions.